Turn features into user stories

Here's my feature list: <paste>

Rewrite each as a user story: who, what they're trying to do, and why
it matters to them. Then add acceptance criteria — specific,
checkable conditions for "done".

Then the useful part:
- Which of these are actually the same story described twice?
- Which describe a solution rather than a need? Rewrite those as the
  underlying need, so the solution stays open.
- Which have no user behind them — features I want because they'd be
  satisfying to build?

Be blunt about that last category.